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PostWhy Ruminate? Medicate! (John Eipper, USA, 04/01/17 5:30 am)
Are WAIS discussions not as satisfying as they used to be? Is it getting harder to craft the informed reply or snappy rejoinder to a posting you particularly disagree with? Have you lost interest in claiming the last word on a topic, no matter how esoteric?
WAISitol® can help.
Once-daily WAISitol® (Verozippycertitudoprin XL), as part of a general wellness program, can increase stamina, enhance concentration, and restore overall give-a-damnedness about opera, EU viability, the rise of the New Right, ObamoTrumpCare, toponyms, and the cultural legacy of Karen Carpenter.
And for those days when you have too much lux in your pax, try WAISonex®. Taken in tandem with WAISitol®, WAISonex® (Chillaxoslothomine HCL) aids in achieving restfulness and the comforting buzz that used to come with moderate-to-heavy drinking.
It used to require a lifetime of meditation and yoga practice to reach the mindful Zen of one simple pill: WAISonex®.
Are WAISitol® and WAISonex® right for you? We're pretty sure they are, but ask your Doctor.
WAISitol®/WAISonex® side effects: Drowsiness, irritability, nausea, dyspepsia, headache, insomnia, anxiety, tremors, decreased libido, diarrhea, chills, hair loss, breast engorgement, nosebleeds, excessive thirst, confusion, toenail fungus, dry mouth, itching, schizophrenia, scales, scabies, rage, body lice, suicide, cocksureness, inability to properly use quotation marks.
Less common: Pro-EU exuberance, euroskepticism, nationalism, pathological linkophilia.
JE comments: WAISitol® and WAISonex® were developed after several leading drug multinationals voiced their concern over WAISworld's failure to promote membership well-being. Big Pharma, we listened, and we thank you.
(Note: To work as intended, WAISitol® should not be taken on an empty stomach, and requires eleven doses per day. "Once-daily" should not be misunderstood as one pill, but rather in the Castilian sense of the word: once=eleven. For our German-speaking friends, try elf-daily WAISitol® and elf-nightly WAISonex®.
"See? I told you JE is biased"